Getting down to the root of teen violence
She is pretty, a good student and roll-call keeper of her class. There were those who were envious of her and wanted to harm her – to get “payback.’ This is what motivated the teenage girls and boys who attacked the 14-year-old in the southern Athens suburb of Glyfada, kicking her furiously. Perhaps the fact that they didn’t fully realize their motives is a significant part of the problem.
As much as it might seem like a logical conclusion – “they envied her, so they hit her” – it is, in fact, not.
We can feel whatever we want, but we can’t do whatever we want. We can be hostile, envious, hateful and even wish to harm someone in moments of anger, but we must not act on these emotions. After all, the criminal code does not punish someone for thinking something bad, but for acting on it against others.
Awareness and control of emotional expression are essential components of personal development and maturity, guiding individuals into and through adulthood as well-rounded personalities. Indeed, the pack of teenagers didn’t attack the 14-year-old her simply because they were envious of her virtues but because they have not learned – as one would expect them to have done at their age – that we do not express our emotions through violence, whether verbal or, especially, physical.
Growing up is challenging, restrictive, and requires a supportive environment, which many children lack. If you take away a toy from a toddler, they will often try to snatch it back by force. At their level of mental and emotional development, this is natural. For a teenager or an adult, such behavior is unacceptable. That’s how it works – more rights come with more responsibilities.
Parents often respond to the delinquent behavior of their children in two ways: they either excuse minor infractions by saying, “Oh, they’re just a kid, they’ll make mistakes,” or they impose strict rules, such as “If you do that again, I’m taking away your phone.” In the first case, the message is, “You can do anything you want.” In the second, it’s, “You must obey me.” Neither approach fosters an understanding of personal responsibility for one’s actions.
Then there’s school, where teachers, without adequate preparation – apart from their academic training – are thrown into classrooms to deal with agitated teenagers struggling to survive both socially and personally. And still, the children are left unable to make sense of what they are experiencing. Any effective interventions require space and time. Arrests and other criminal action may appease the public’s sense of justice, but they do not address the root of the problem.
