Same-sex parenthood should become law

It appears that the center-right government of Greece is about to propose legislation in favor of same-sex marriage and parenthood. Kudos to the government; it did not have to make this proposal but by doing so demonstrates that Greece is part of the modern family of states where human rights are important. I believe that marriage and parenthood are human rights and in a modern, secular state all citizens should have the right to partake in those.

To be sure, there are many voices against the proposal. The right wing, and the more conservative elements within the government, and the Greek Orthodox Church are against. Right-wing objections should be dismissed. They were against no-fault divorce, decriminalizing marital infidelity and civil marriage. Today the vast majority of Greek society has accepted the above. The Greek Orthodox Church has every right not to bless same-sex marriages, but it has no say in legislating.

Opinion polls indicate that Greeks are divided; a small majority is in favor of same-sex marriage, but a small majority is also against same-sex parenthood. I appreciate the views of my countrymen but allow me to share my experience from a country where same-sex marriage has been legal for a dozen years or so now, and same-sex couples having children has been the reality for decades.

I live in Minnesota, one of the more liberal US states, in the urban area of Minneapolis-Saint Paul (known as Twin Cities) the state’s most liberal area. Up until about 12 years ago, same-sex marriage was not possible in Minnesota but many of my neighbors, friends and colleagues were in long-term committed same-sex relations. There was fear, among my conservative fellow Minnesotans, that legalizing same-sex marriage would have negative effects on society. Twelve years after such marriages became legal, I can report that the sky has not fallen! Same-sex marriages are legal, my LBGTQ friends and neighbors are married, and society is not worse off because of it.

But while Greek society appears ready to accept same-sex marriages, it is reluctant to accept same-sex couple parenthood. I understand the hesitation, but legally and otherwise social feelings are irrelevant. Modern countries like Greece are secular; if our gay fellow citizens are equal to the rest of us, why can’t they enjoy the same privileges? I can marry and have children (even through artificial insemination, adoption, etc.) why not my gay fellow citizens? But, I am told, children need a father and a mother. Maybe, but more than that children need a loving home that will help them to grow. In this instance I have some personal experiences to share.

I have been lucky to have met and befriended a few great people who happen to be in long-term same-sex relations. They entered in such relations even before the state of Minnesota recognized same-sex marriage. Some of them chose to have children before their unions were recognized legally. I have had the opportunity to observe such families for a while now; their marriages are as good as mine and their children are as happy as mine. Same-sex parents have some the same joys and troubles all parents have regardless of social class, geographical location, sexual orientation.

I want to focus on one case; a young boy, now a young man, the son of a colleague of mine. I met him when he was a few months old, and his mothers would bring him to my place of employment. I watched him grow up and when he came of college age he took a number of my courses. In short, the young boy became a young man and an adult in front of my eyes. The young man in question is not different from my daughters or the children of the rest of my friends and colleagues. His parents did a great job raising him and he is a valuable member of society.

I hear that there is fear that some Greek Orthodox priests might decline to baptize the children of same-sex couples. I hope this is not accurate; I do not accept the idea that a true servant of the Greek Orthodox faith, one that puts emphasis on love, will refuse baptism to an innocent child because of its family condition. This is not the Greek Orthodox Church we want. Sometimes governments are ahead of public opinion, and I hope legalizing same-sex marriage and parenthood becomes the law in Greece soon; judging from what happened in the US, Greek society will not suffer because of it.

John Mazis is professor of history at Hamline University in Saint Paul, Minnesota.